October 24, 2009

Many kids in the city are forced to play an instrument. And I've found something interesting – a young mother who was forced as a kid to play an instrument just pass that tradition onto her daughter!

It's a battle at times. You want your kid to play an instrument, you think it will be good for the kid, you want the kid to experience it, you think it is a good idea. The merits of learning a musical instrument are oft repeated by the well-intentioned parent: learning discipline, enjoyment later in life, Mozart makes you smarter. Rarely have I heard anyone discuss the damage done by forcing the kid. However, the problem is, Little Johnny or Jane does not think it is such a hot idea. The kid would rather be outside playing, gaming, sleeping, anything but practicing that instrument.

There are kids that with a little encouragement will get over their reluctance to learn and do half way decent. Perhaps it is the interaction with the teacher, the knowledge that the instrument is actually fun or they just give up the fight and play to satisfy mom and dad. These kids tend to do okay but never really excel.

There are kids who go down screaming and yelling. Perhaps the trick or the starting point is to help your kid fall in love with music. This would include an early introduction to music and instruments. I firmly believe that access to music and instruments at a young age is very helpful.

I once doubted that I would play an instrument. I was introduced to music at a very young age by my parents. I learned to love the music by sitting next to the radio. And my dad did buy us some instruments! Why is it Chinese parents force their kids to play an instrument? Because it will ultimately be an advantage. Think about how much they gave up of their life to us to have a better one.I really appreciate their attempt to help us, and I, unlike many other kids, did not rebel aganist it.

I have never forced my son to play an instrument. I do not believe it is productive or beneficial. I do think early exposure will allow the kid to want to play or sing. I think that love of music will allow you and your kid to decide what your kid might be interested in learning. And if your kid is interested in learning your kid has a heck of a better shot at being successful than being forced to look at the keys on a piano for an hour hating every minute of it. However, my son is extremely jealous of people his age now who can play something really well. He felt really left out, because everybody around him was learning one… And he started learning saxophone at 18.

I understand the need for parental guidance and I support it. However, there comes a point when the benefit of learning is considerably outweighed by the stress of the fight. If you can jointly agree to the best course of action to take when it comes to music or the arts, your kid will probably get much more benefit and enjoyment from it since they took part in the decision.

Support your kid's musical desire. If your kid wants to play violin and is horrible at it let the kid keep trying if it is giving him or her pleasure. If your kid would rather dance or paint or sing, that's okay too – the kid gets the same benefits from all the arts as from learning an instrument. So find his/her passion, with his/her input, and then let him/her pursue it with your support.

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